


I Miss You.

by TrexReach100



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Cuddling/Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, PataterWeek, angst but with a happy ending, boyfriends trying to communicate, delayed arguments, patater, the kind of long distance anti climax you can expect from a ldr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 02:17:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9857597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrexReach100/pseuds/TrexReach100
Summary: "You just like to see men dance." he whispers accusingly.  He swears he sees the cat shrug.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this originally for [Patater week](http://derekpoindexter-williamnurse.tumblr.com/post/155186699793/patater-week-february-6th-12th) _Feb 11 - Cuddling/Snuggling_ but missed the deadline cos I'm a doofus. But here it is anyway, two weeks late but still as real.
> 
> This was not beta-d so if it sucks then, ya know, I warned ya.

The apartment is quiet when Alexei opens the door.  He listens out for signs of life but there's nothing save for the hum of the refrigerator followed shortly by a slight tinkling sound and then soft thudding across the hardwood.  Alexei crouches, folding his huge body nearly in half to greet the tiny animal who captured his boyfriends heart long before Alexei tried for it.  Kit mewls softly as she rubs her face along his extended hand, letting him pay her due attention before she winds her body through his long legs, brushing her side against his ankles.  When she's done she takes off for the kitchen pausing only long enough to send back a look that clearly says 'come along then'.  Not one to ignore the cat even though objectively he knows it's ridiculous to let an animal call the shots, he follows stopping with an amused smile when he sees Kit staring up at the cupboard where they keep her food.

 

She's clever he'll give her that.  Genius even, because Alexei didn't think he was a cat person at all until he met Kit.  Alexei is pretty certain he's in Kent's heart but Kit is still making him work for it and seeing as he loves Kent as much as Kent loves his cat he takes the bowl out and fills it up.  She rewards him by dipping her face delicately into the bowl, eating a few pebbles and then sauntering away as if she didn't really want it.

 

"You just like to see men dance." he whispers accusingly.  He swears he sees the cat shrug.

 

Coming back into the hallway he toes off his sneakers and strides to the living room.  Because of his size Alexei can't seem to walk anywhere quietly so when he reaches the warmest room in the house Kent's squinting up at him sleepy eyed and ruffled.  He has a pillow scar on his cheek and he looks so adorable Alexei has to take a breath.

 

"Hey." Kent croaks.

 

"Hi." he tips his head to the side, "Tired?"

 

"Practice was tough."

 

"You hurt?" A gentle bolt of concern pierces him.

 

Kent makes a face, "No.  Just old."

 

Hockey players are terrible at admitting when they're hurt.  Like any career athlete injury is the difference between sitting out a few games and ending their career.  Most of the time guys cover it up hoping that an ice bath, massage or rest will cure whatever phantom ache they've picked up.  They rub some dirt on it and carry on hoping no one is the wiser and if asked point blank about it they'll lie.  Their coaches and PR are just as bad.  The key to handling an injury is misdirection.  Which means that when Kent says he's fine Alexei doesn't believe him but he doesn't want to argue so instead he says, "Still a few years left in you."

 

"For hockey or for you?"

 

Alexei grins, "Both."

 

"Be nice to me." Kent groans.

 

"I always nice to you.  Very nice." He gives Kent a hot look and the other man, too tried to check himself, blushes.  It's a good look on a man who frequently has more front than Brighton.  He nods towards the sofa, "Room for me?"

 

Kent nods and Alexei shrugs out of his jacket and unbuckles his belt, pulling it mock seductively through the loops.

 

"Take it off." Kent says in a funny voice looking more awake now.

 

"Easy." Alexei breaths crawling over his boyfriends form and easing into the gap between the back of the sofa and Kent's sleep warm body.  Without prompt Kent lifts his head so Alexei can slide his arm under it, providing a nice bicep pillow.  His height makes him the perfect big spoon, a role he plays often and eagerly.  He loves it, the feel of Kent curled up against his hard muscles, pressed fully into every dent and ridge like the spaces were made just for him.  He inhales the smell of Kent's shampoo and nuzzles the soft skin at his nape pressing his lips there, tasting him.

 

Sometimes they make love like this, their bodies so close they can't even really move, they just breathe together' Alexei savouring the feel of himself inside Kent's body and Kent savouring the feel of Alexei inside him, around him.  In those moments Alexei thinks their bodies must have been made for one another, there's no other explanation for how well they fit together.  It's a powerful feeling he’ll never get enough of.

 

"You're cold." Kent bitches with no real feeling.

 

Just to be a brat - usually Kent's job - he rubs his cold nose against Kent's skin.  "You're warm." He sighs.

 

Kent grabs his hand pulling it over to rest on his firm sculpted belly.  Alexei spreads his fingers out letting the tips of them dip just slightly beneath the sweatband of the grey joggers that stretch deliciously over Kent's backside.  He doesn't make a move to tuck his hand in further or reach for Kent's dick, it's enough to tease, to just be this close and know that when they wake they'll still be together.

 

"Missed you." Alexei rumbles.

 

"It was only a few days."

 

He freezes.  These are not Kent's words they're Alexei's and he said them with an exasperated sigh just before walking out of the apartment for four days to go to Dallas.  He doesn't know what Kent means by this, they both know that being together while their teams tour and train is difficult.  Hell it took them a year to get to this point, with Alexei essentially squatting at Kent's when he's near Vegas and Kent living out of a giant suitcase when he's near Providence.  During their long drawn out courtship there was a whole four months where they just missed each other coming in and out of states.  Kent would text Alexei that he'd be in town just as Alexei was watching it fade from view.

 

_ Kent: Just arrived in Detroit. _

 

_ Alexei: Bus just cross state line. _

 

He wasn't used to being the mopey one on the bus.

 

"Kent." he tries not to sigh but he doesn't want to argue.  He's missed him too much to spend the time they have together arguing about something that neither of them can or even really wants to change.  Well, that's not strictly true.  Alexei does want to change the way it feels like they're always just snatching time together but in order to do so one or both of them would have to give up hockey and as much as they love each other they also love hockey.  It's who they are not just what they do.  It's what makes them great players.

 

Kent's given up so much to get where he is now.  To give up hockey too would make all that sacrifice for nothing.  Alexei doesn't want either of them to give up what they love but it does kill him to know that every visit starts a countdown.  He loves Kent, he wants to move in with him or have Kent move in with him but they've both been putting it off because they're training grounds are in two different states meaning it's cheaper to keep two apartments rather than stay in hotels or wear out their friends sofa's.

 

Even if they can afford to room hop at nice hotels Alexei hates hotels.  Everything is too small for his giant hands and as nice as it is to have your breakfast cooked for you he likes cooking his own breakfast thank you very much.

 

It's just hard because they miss each other and rather than talk about it (because really, how many times can you argue about something that you can't ever change?) they find themselves sniping and snarling.  Maybe it's an effort to stave off the hurt of departure.  To prompt the pain before it can surprise attack you.  Stupidly they think that parting on a fight means they'll both be too mad to be sad about missing one another but it never works that way.  The anger just piggybacks onto the sadness making them feel worse.

 

For Kent it's worse.  Alexei knows this because he knows him.  Kent is a stewer.  He lashes out over fights and arguments he doesn't really care about, hell he spends his fair share of time in the sin bin so he's not afraid to throw down and be seen to throw down but when it comes to arguing with the ones he loves an onlooker could be forgiven for thinking it never happens.  Alexei knows better.  He and Kent fight, they fight about being apart, they fight about their apartments and their future with the NHL and after it, but it's a quiet fight.  It's a resentful grumble beneath the breath.  It's a door slammed in one of their apartments.  It's a strained exchange before they turn in for bed, sleeping next to one another but on opposite sides as far as they can get without falling off.  They might exchange a few words about the actual problem and, yeah okay, they blow up at each other and shout but for the most part Kent will keep what bothers him about their situation to himself.

 

With a breaking heart Alexei knows it's because Kent is afraid he won't care.  That one day he'll turn around and say something like,  _ 'You are right.  I am sick of this fight.  I don't want to have it anymore because I am tired of you.'.   _ Alexei would never brush off Kent's fears like that because they are his own but Kent is very used to people turning from him.  Wound tightly together in bed after some particularly intense sex Kent had admitted, with his face buried in Alexei's chest, that he doesn't like to tell the ones he loves that he's upset with them or frustrated by something they do because they don't need him as much as he needs them so it would be easy for them to decide to up and walk away, to decide that they were tired of how needy he was.  Kent is very insecure about his place in other people's worlds.  Even the teams.

 

Alexei still gets mad when he thinks about it and yes a little frustrated because he doesn't know how to tell or show Kent enough just how important he is to him, how loved he is by him.  It's not that Kent is constantly moving the goal it's that he doesn't even bother setting one up on his ice because he doesn't think anyone would wanna score.

 

Alexei wants to score.

 

He loves Kent so much it makes him breathless and he can't stand the knowledge that Kent will have spent four days festering about their last fight but not mention it because he's afraid Alexei will leave.

 

"We should talk about before I left." Alexei feels Kent stiffen in his arms.

 

"It's fine.  It was silly." he shrugs his broad shoulders to illustrate how not big of a deal it was.

It wasn't a big deal, they didn't say things they would regret or be unable to come back from but it was deal enough that he thinks they should talk about it.  "You were upset."

 

"I'm over it."

 

"Are you?"  Kent doesn't say anything and that feels like progress because though he doesn't say anything he isn't lying either.  "I'm sorry I stormed out.  I know you were upset.  Me too."

 

"I know." he whispers his breath fanning out over his forearm.

 

"Roadies are difficult."

 

"It's only going to get tougher."

 

"Is okay."

 

Kent turns in his arms and the forlorn look on his face makes Alexei's heart beat out of time.  "What if it's not?"

 

"What you mean?"

 

Kent opens his mouth to answer and Alexei inhales subtly not because he's steeling himself (well maybe he is a little bit) because he doesn't want to spook Kent back into silence.  Except it doesn't work.  Kent closes his mouth then lies and says, "Don't worry about it."

 

He can't help the growl of frustration that leaves him.  "Kenny.  I am here now."

 

"I know babe and I'm loving it trust me." he throws a leg over his hip pushing their groins together trying to prompt the sort of reaction that guarantees no talking for...thirty minutes at least.

 

Alexei stills him with a hand on his thigh fighting the urge to slide it up and over his firm bubble butt.  "Kenny stop."

 

Kent blinks at him self-consciously.  He blushes, embarrassed not turned on.  "Okay." he tries to withdraw his leg but despite the theme of the situation Alexei quite likes it there so he holds on.

 

"You were upset about my leaving.  I was upset too-"

 

"I know."

 

"You still upset?"

 

At length he replies, "Yes.  I just-" he breaks off with a sigh and Alexei prompts him with a gentle but insistent look.  "It's hard to keep doing this.  Six months of not seeing each other for more than a few days.  Weeks apart while we play tournaments.  Staying in hotels...alone?"

 

The implication is not subtle and Alexei bristles.  "I am alone."

 

"I know, I know!" Kent presses his palms against Alexei's chest.  "But I'm just saying that if you wanted to, you know not be alone...I'd get how that happened."

 

"I never cheat on you.  I never ever cheat on you." he can't even believe Kent is saying this right now.  There is no one else Alexei wants.  He has what he wants right here and he's so Goddamn happy.  "Do you want? Other men?" The thought makes him sick.  Kent isn’t the only one who can make secrets of his feelings.  Alexei has a secret fear, the kind of fear you can visualise clearly when you realise how real it’s potential is, that Kent will break his heart.  He doesn’t know how he’ll do it, intentionally or unintentionally, reluctantly or eagerly but he knows he can.  Kent thinks he’s the only one with fears but he’s not.  

 

"No, God no."

 

"Then why say it?"  Kent shrugs but Alexei knows why.  "I love you."

 

"I love you too."

 

"No, Kent." he whips out the use of his full and proper name.  "We are apart for long time.  A lot I know and I miss you, painfully.  But there is and can never be anyone else.  If you want others you tell me now but I want you only and I want you to want me only too."

 

"I do.  I do want you only.  I get...scared." he says the word like he had to pry it from the iron vice of his throat.  "It's lonely on the road."

 

"Are you lonely?"

 

Kent nods and Alexei feels like he’s been hollowed out.  "But only for you.  I miss you."  The words don’t sound as nice as they did a moment ago.

 

"I am lonely too.  But I miss you.  I don't miss other men.  I miss you." He ducks to meet his boyfriend’s gaze hoping that it helps Kent to believe him.

 

"Okay."

 

Alexei really hopes it is okay because he doesn’t want to have this conversation again.  Long distance is hard but Kent is worth it.  What they have together is worth the late night face times, the fumbling skype sex and the quiet phone calls on the bus as they drive through the night.  When he’s on the phone he catches eyes with Jack who gives him a sympathetic smile.  He remembers these days.  The days when he and little B were stuck in separate time zones with the date of their reunions seeming so elusive even as they drew nearer.  It’s not even just about keeping the relationship a secret.  They’re not intentionally hiding the relationship from the public but their own expectations can be challenging enough without the expectations of perfect strangers leaping out at them through twitter or at their games.  Alexei has never once thought of cheating on Kent no matter how lonely he felt.  No matter how hard things seem Alexei knows that it’s all worth it for this man.

 

"Okay?"

 

Kent nods.  "Yes okay."

 

"No cheating.  From me or you.  Promise me?"

 

Kent looks him right in the eyes, the pale absorbing blue of them drawing him in looking happier than a minute ago.  More confident.  "I promise." He presses their lips together and they kiss slowly, deeply.  Alexei kisses him like he missed him.  Passionately.  When they break away they’re both panting.

 

"I missed you." Kent sighs dazedly.

 

"Oh yeah?" Finally, finally! Alexei dips his hands into Kent's joggers giving him a teasing stroke through his briefs.  His dick twitches to life beneath his palm immediately.  "How much?"

 

Kent bites his bottom lip.  "You can't tell?"

 

Alexei can definitely tell yet still teases, "I not sure.  Could be morning wood."

 

"It's the evening." Kent smirks.

 

He works his hand beneath the boxers and curls his fist around the warm hardening, pulsing flesh.  With a wicked grin he decides, "Then we should go to bed."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me (about good things) over at [Fanaste on tumblr](http://fanaste.tumblr.com)  
> 


End file.
